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ESL forum >
Message board > PUNS
PUNS
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edrodmedina
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PUNS
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I came a cross these puns
- You can tune a guitar, but you can �t tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass. - Douglas Adams.
- Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giants� fingers.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, �No change yet. �
- When the detectives on the police force observed suspects dining in the city �s best restaurant, it was their favorite steak out.
- "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." - Groucho Marx.
- He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.
- Male deer have buck teeth.
- A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: �Keep off the Grass. �
- The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I �ll show you A-flat minor.
- A backward poet writes in-verse.
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can �t budge it.
- In democracy it �s your vote that counts. In feudalism it �s your count that votes.
- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
- When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
- Don �t join dangerous cults. Practice safe sects!
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
- A gang of thieves stole a shipment of Viagra. Police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- The fellows died their hair.
- A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
- Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
- The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
- A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.
- An elephant �s opinion carries a lot of weight.
- She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
- Don �t justify sin, just defy sin.
- In the novel, there is an unexpected secret meeting of the lovers. It is a plot tryst.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it �ll still be stationery.
- A pessimist �s blood type is always b-negative.
- If you hear it from the horse �s mouth you �re listening to a neigh sayer.
- A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
- Crick:: The sound that a Japanese camera makes.
- A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
- When you dream in color, it �s a pigment of your imagination.
- A gossip is someone with a sense of rumor.
- When two egotists meet, it �s an I for an I.
- Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
- A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: �Keep off the Grass. �
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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25 Jan 2011
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alexcure
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They �re great, Ed. Thank you! I just love puns ;-)
Have a nice day,
Alex
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25 Jan 2011
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MarionG
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Interesting how you mention the drug rehab sign twice???
They �re great Ed, thanks for the laugh!
If you enjoyed these, you will probably get a kick out of this one..
The entire site is great fun but this must me one of my favorite parts..
btw, I was wondering, is that you in your avatar? |
25 Jan 2011
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alexcure
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Indeed, Marion! Thanks a lot for the link ;-)))
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25 Jan 2011
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edrodmedina
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@Marion..Funny headlines. I can see why u like that site..... BTW..I �ve never been to rehab..maybe I should huh? |
25 Jan 2011
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imanito
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very funny.....i love them |
25 Jan 2011
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kiaras
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They�re sooo funny! Thank you, Ed for your good will, but some people always find the black spot in the rice, as we say in Mexico! What a shame! |
25 Jan 2011
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suhakhader
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I like them! Thanks forboth of you:Ed and Marion! |
25 Jan 2011
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moravc
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Thanks a lot Ed! Fantastic! Great for homonyms, homophones worksheets...
Double meanings are always such a fun!
I love them!
Can I make a worksheet with some of your puns??
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25 Jan 2011
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