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ESL forum > Message board > Ladies first    

Ladies first



miss noor
Palestine

Ladies first
 

Hello everyone

I haven �t participated in anything for a while cause I was busy

Here �s a story that I hope you can enjoy it


"LADIES FIRST"







It is common to hear the




expression �ladies first �. Women, in particular, daily repeat it as if it is a rule.



They actually feel proud of it,






unknowing its origin and its real indications. They think it is praise to them, while it is a shame to be said according to its origin

The story of this saying took place in Italy.







It is about two lovers who loved each other so much. They decided to marry.




But some social circumstances and relatives block the way of their marriage. They did not accept this and intentionally decided either to live together as husband and wife, or to die. together Having done best to achieve the marriage, they got disappointed. Dying was the only option. They thought about a number of ways to commit the suicide,throwing themselves into the sea was the appropriate way to them. The man sincerely said he would not bear the situation of seeing her drowning to death in front of his eyes. He convinced his beloved that he would throw himself first and then she would do so latter.

In the rush moment, the man did it and drown. The lady was looking at him as if he was �singing �. The man was dead. It was the lady �s turn to follow him to live together underneath, as they decided. But she soon broke her promise, forgetting her sweetheart who was dying in front of her eyes and in heart as well.
She �threw herself back to the village �. Yes! Her promise was to throw herself. And she did, but to the village instead of the sea.
She came back home, to her relatives as if nothing has happened. Few days later, she fell in love with another man. She was happy with him as if it was her first love. It did not take a lot of time till she got married to him
Since then, people start doubting ladies and start repeating the saying �ladies first �, with the implication that ladies should throw themselves into the sea first, should die first, because they are not trustworthy
It is really interesting when one hears a lady proudly says �ladies first �, thinking that she adds a privilege for being a female. Some people, men and women, take it as a social rule, unknowing its real indications.
This is not a personal point of view. It is not, moreover, a personal interpretation of the story. It is what many sources say and interpret the original story. So, women please forgive me for shedding light on this.
I do only a favor for women so that to be aware of when to say �ladies first � and when not to say. For me, I don�t care if I hear a woman saying this. I way ignore or pretend deafness. But others may take it a matter of satire.

 

17 Jun 2009      





naj07
Tunisia

Thank you for opening our eyes about this fact. Personnally I thought it is a form of politeness gallantry from men to women. Thank you again

17 Jun 2009     



anitarobi
Croatia

Oh my, the stuff that human language can bear, ha? Who �d have guessed?!?! thanks for the cultural wake-up call.... I �m glad it �s all just words thoughWink
 
Anita

17 Jun 2009     



Nebal
Lebanon

Well, miss Noor, at first I thought that this is a good way to express men �s respect and politeness to ladies.
But, after reading the original story, I feel disppointed. What a sad story!! Just the opposite of what I thought of this expression.
 
Let me tell you one thing, as far as I know women are more sacrificing than men and more emotional. But, this one is bizzare.
 
This is a good example of how muuch realities change with time.
 
Anyways, Miss Noor, thanks a lot for enlightening us. It �s a must!!
 
Hugs,
nebal
 

17 Jun 2009     



Isabelucha
Portugal

Well, Miss Noor, That was a sad surprise.... Never thought it could have that origin... Thanx for the explanation anyway.Smile

17 Jun 2009     



miss noor
Palestine

I agree with u Nebal that women usually are more sacrificing and emotional than men.

 
But the man in this story is exception
Wink   

17 Jun 2009     



morganalin
Portugal

What a story!I �m surprised with the origins of the expression "ladies first". Thanks a lot for this cultural aspect. I won �t forget it that �s for sure...

17 Jun 2009     



roneydirt
United States

Nice story...  but that is about it, a story.  It was also a fairly new creation compared to the other stories of "Ladies First" and older than others.  Sample of other theories:
 
Speculation abounds about the origin of this tradition. Some say it began during Victorian times. Others believe it stemmed from men being concerned about assassination attempts and walking behind women when entering or exiting buildings. Don �t know if they were using the women as shields, or if they were being chivalrous in fending off rear attacks.

Another comes from "By the Light of My Father �s Smile," by Alice Walker: "It is because, in the early days, if we were permitted to walk behind the man, we would run away. If we were kept in front, they could keep an eye on us."

According to Chabad.org, a site that reports on Judaism and the Torah, the "ladies first" rule is a very old tradition. The story goes that when Moses was instructed to inform the people of Israel about the Torah, he was told to "speak to the house of Jacob, and tell the sons of Israel." Since the house of Jacob appears first in the instructions, and it refers to women, the theory follows that Moses had to speak first with the ladies. Probably a smart political move.

Others talk about the oath to become a knight and the promise of chivaly, but I think that was just for the special women and not the common woman. 
 
There are other cultures where in history the woman had the say so and the man followed.  Some were very fierce warrior tribes as well like in northern Africa. 
 
Where it actually came from depends on different cultures and different stories.

17 Jun 2009     



miyoko71
Morocco

What a story!I �ve never imagined it would be so.
Thanks

17 Jun 2009     



anaisabel001
Spain

Thanks for this story!

17 Jun 2009