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ESL forum >
Message board > Internet relations and well-being
Internet relations and well-being
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**********
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Internet relations and well-being
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Hello, everybody!
Computer-mediated communication technologies focus more attention on the message, transmit social information poorly, and don�t have a well-developed social netiquette. Therefore, cmc communication is usually associated with:
less attention to others
less social feedback
some decrease of self and others awareness
People who communicate via computer tend to evaluate others less favorably than in face-to-face communication, in a more impersonal and more uninhibited way. Communication via computers also seems to elicit asocial and less regulated behavior.
Besides, it�s harder to develop a sense of community, a sense of belonging in on-line communities, I mean it takes longer for someone being recognized and appreciated, making him/herself present to others.
Some people seem to have the natural ability to begin their messages with a greeting, to use vocatives, connectors such as we/us/our, post a last greeting, when addressing others on-line, but this ability can also be trained.
What do you think?
Have a great day,
Idalina Jorge
edit: I miss the caf�! 
2nd edit: The caf� is already on! Will you join me in my Portuguese "snack"? |
2 Oct 2009
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mariannina
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Hi Idalina, yes, the computer just like the telephone is sometimes used like a screen, behind which you hide yourself and you dare say things you �d never say in a face-to-face conversation. Luckly it �s not always true and in the internet you find wonderful people.
Ciao |
2 Oct 2009
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anitarobi
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Hi, Idalina!
Interesting topic. Yes, I would definitely agree that internet communication and face-to-face cummunication differ a lot, and I do prefer face-to-face to the internet. I, for one, believe in personal impressions based on senses, and sometimes you need to �feel � the person to properly form an opinion of him or her. However, one cannot deny the practicality of internet communication, and the amazing links it can form - would we ever have got into contact were it not for this site??? Who knows?
As for learning the basic culture and patterns of polite behaviour online, yes, it can be taught and learned. But as all learning - when the student wants to learn, he or she can and will be taught. Where there is a will, there is a way. Most people I know are actually the same in both types of communication - give it time and every leopard shows his spots.
I know lots of people who communicate more efficiently and even more expressively and politely through e-mails, simply because it is easier for them to express themselves in written form, whereas face-to-face they are, for lack of a better word, simply shy. I also know people who abhore all kinds of online communication, believing it to be a killer or natural communication. Those people also have business problems, because of practical issues - sometimes it �s more difficult to get in touch with them, to exchange important info with them, etc.
We cannot ignore modern types of communication - they are our present. Yes, they have negative and positive sides, as does everything in life, its curses and blessings. The trick is in finding the measure. Just as it is with everything in life.
Anita |
2 Oct 2009
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mr.dgdln
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communication via internet has undeniably blossomed into a potential communication tool, altering the way people used to interact once upon a time.
The Internet has given us the chance to make life easier and enjoyable by making instant connections between people possible. one cannot deny now that E-mail is an inexpensive and very convenient way to exchange ideas, news etc between people who are far from eachother.
I agree with nikadixon on her point that lack of face-to-face communication and therefore a false communication is the biggest disadvantage of communication via internet.
it has more problems resulting from this. Family, friends and acquitances � contacts are decreased. it has reduced the ability to solve conflicts among people(as can be seen on this site).
What we have to do is lessen the disadvantages as much as we can and increase the information and knowledge transmission by breaking down the negative barriers.
best regards
�mer
edit: dear nikadixon we´d better talk those kind of topics on the main page. els is not as often visited as the main page. so it helps many people to see the topic. |
2 Oct 2009
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zailda
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Hi, Idalina!
It �s a very interesting topic, deeply related to our community! I �m also some Google Groups moderator and your post will be very useful for us to think about. So I ask your permission to use it as a message, or maybe on the main page.
Before the internet, I was engaged in pen palling for many years (and it �s the same thing, exchanging letters with complete strangers from all over) so when the internet hit our lives I was already "trained" on recognizing a human being behind every single nick or profile.
And we need to remember that human beings are not "virtual beings", they have feelings, dreams, a job, a life - and they deserve the same respect and attention we give to anybody else we have "real" contact with.
They say that future generations won �t know the difference between "real" and "virtual" world. Since both are filled with human feelings, knowledge, thoughts and experiences, I �m convinced that there �s no difference between both worlds. Everything that happens to a person on the internet is felt like a real event, so we have to treat the others in the internet the same way our parents taught us to treat the others.
My experience in the internet is unique because I have penpals since I was 15 years old (and I �m almost 52 now) and even got married with one of my pals - and for me penpalling and internet are the same - so I take the virtual world seriously.
Behind every nick there is a person - we must consider - and when we offend a "nick", we are disrespecting and hurting a real person.
Let �s be nice and show to other people our real personality, character and feelings. Internet is our next environment, where most of the facts involving human beings will take place in the future and internet may be the main - if not the unique - means of communication we �ll have with the rest of the human race.
We are still learning - and we �ll make it.
Have a nice day!
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2 Oct 2009
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mr.dgdln
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dear zailda
you are absolutely right on your point. But as far as I understood -please correct me if I misunderstood- nikadixon implied that we are not able to convey what we exactly feel to the ones behind the nicks on a virtual atmosphere.
and that �s absolutely right. I know you are a good-spirited lady but we �ve recently misunderstood eachother on a topic which I dont want to mention now. But as I concluded from your post we �ll hopefully be trained to understand each other much easily on virtual world like this site.
thanks
�mer
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2 Oct 2009
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zailda
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Hi mr.dgdln!
Idalina �s assessment is right, most of the people seem to see the nicks like nothing but impersonal names or like if a machine was behind them. There was a thread here on using an avatar that doesn �t show a person �s face and it �s also true that many people use the internet to live another life, showing a person they are not in fact.
I agree that many people use the internet more to hide than to show something about who they are or what they think, but fortunatelly there are many people who understand it like another means of communication, so we must be who we are, and respect people on the internet the same way we respect each other in the "real" world.
Yes, you �re right, we disagred recently on a topic, but that doesn �t imply we are enemies. As in real life I consider disagreements as part of the process of growing and I felt a little bit bothered with your words in the same way I �d feel if we were having a disagreement in real life.
But I want to assure you that if I disaproved the way you expressed your toughts, this fact doesn �t imply that I disaprove you, I have nothing against you and the most of members here. We don �t have a personal issue, as far as I know, how I have with some (very few, fortunatelly) members here who personally attacked me.
And it �s natural to disagree, it happens many times on the reporting page, for example. As in real life I have the characteristic of getting involved (maybe get carried away, sometimes...) in what I deeply believe. I confess that sometimes (not most of the times, I hope) I may be hard-mouthed, recalcitrant, stiff-necked, or whatever we can call a person who stucks in his POV and defends it till death against everything or everyone, but as I said, I am who I am, in the internet or in real life.
If we want to share toughts and feelings here, we need to understand that the nicks in fact are human beings with the good and the bad, the virtues and defects they in fact have. I don �t want to be perfect, nobody is. I have many defects and try to decrease their number day by day, but if we really want to share, we need to understand that we are all failing human beings and we also have got to learn how to deal with people �s both sides, the good and the bad ones.
Have a nice day!
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2 Oct 2009
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**********
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Zailda, I can send you stuff about this in Portuguese, if you like. Just pm me your email and I will.
�mer, about conveying feelings: it �s more difficult on-line, but we can deliberately use of self-disclosure, which helps break the ice (or put out the flames, depending on the temperature).
An interesting character on this site: aftab57: s(he) is always there to help everybody and always does it quietly, with no trace of self-disclosure: However, we can easily understand it �s a friendly, caring, hardworking person.
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2 Oct 2009
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goodnesses
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Hi, Idalina,
Nice to see you around every now and then with your ever great and high level topics.
This site really needs more people like you.
As for your topic, I have just to say that after the second reply we are really really in the very heart of your point.
Every time I am a little more amazed. Amazed how easy some people find it to come and theorize and philosophize about things they are far away from for no longer than few days ago they were throwing others some with false accusations, some with nasty words and insults and some screaming for their fellow members to come for help to kill the beasts (sorry, the humans behind the avatars ! ! !) that are infesting the site.
Sorry Idalina if some would now find the opportunity to divert the thread. I do apologize to you in advance. But these were the thoughts that came to my mind after reading some posts.
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2 Oct 2009
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douglas
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>>goodnesses--let �s not start that fire again, please |
2 Oct 2009
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