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ESL forum > Message board > Europe English - A Joke    

Europe English - A Joke



Moroccan Teacher
Morocco

Europe English - A Joke
 
Thanks to ALICIAPC for her contribution about the English language. Here is a similar one.


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty �s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!

Hav a nic vekend


source: http://www.ahajokes.com/eng011.html

19 Jun 2010      





lumpicha79
Poland

lol

19 Jun 2010     



perma
Greece

Lol that was funny!
I didn �t even notice the first two changes in spelling, they seemed quite natural.
The end result though....Wacko

19 Jun 2010     



Amanda W
Austria

There �s only one answer to this: appreciate, welcome and enjoy illogical English spelling!!

19 Jun 2010     



starryargenta
United Kingdom

Very nice! I will put it up on our board in the staffroom. In defence (or should that be defense!) of my wonderful language (though, of course all languages are wonderful and most do not have such infuriating spelling)) I will say that if you get the chance to read a bit about the history of the English language it is fascinating to discover why we have silent �e �, �ght � , �ph �, double letters and vowels with 3 different pronunciations! Like the lines and scars on a body the indiosyncrasies of English spelling tell a thousand stories of politics, occupation, migration, wars and innovation.

19 Jun 2010     



aliciapc
Uruguay

Thank YOU Moroccan teacher !

19 Jun 2010     



stexstme
France

Big smileThx for today �s smile! Thumbs Up
Sylvie

19 Jun 2010