I sometimes begin my classes with a joke I write on the board with three different endings and ss have to choose the correct one, or I write one and leave blanks for them to complete. It �s nice to see them smiling to begin the class, even if they are "dumb" jokes, as they sometimes say ... Here are some to put a smile on your faces, to start the day . . .
Mum, does God go to the bathroom?
No, son, why do you ask?
Well, every morning dad goes to the bathroom, knocks on the door and shouts, "Oh, God! Are you still in there?"
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Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can �t. Besides, I never said it was.
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Judge: You have been convicted of burglary. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?
Accused: As the Lord is my judge, I am not guilty. I did not do it.
Judge: He is not. I am. You are. You did. Five years.
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One farmer says to another farmer that he had to shoot one of his cows?
"Was it mad?" asks the other farmer.
The farmer replies "Well it wasn �t very happy about it".
* (mad=angry)
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An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors in her students � written work. She wasn �t sure how much impact she was having until one overly busy day when she sat at her desk rubbing her temples a student asked, "What �s the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?"
"Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.
After a slight pause the student tried again, "What was the matter? What will be the matter? What has been the matter? What might have been the matter... ?"
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Have a good Tuesday !
This is the saddest dog in the world.