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ESL forum >
Ask for help > Help with a correction
Help with a correction
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SaraMariam
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Help with a correction
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My dear colleagues, I received a paper from a friend that has to be corrected (business english paper) and she is having some problems with it. Now that I have looked over it, there are some things I also don �t get along with and was hoping to find some advice here. I hope you don �t mind me asking for your help. The words or expressions i �m wondering about are the following:
1.We hope that such a prestigious venue in such a
favorable week will contribute to bring abundant visitors together. (somehow this sentence sounds weird to me, especiallt the abundant part, am I wrong?)
2. ..great opportunity to meet up with your peers. Peers
or associates?
3. The 3 ambiences (is the heading)
Placed under the sign of �...�, the fair
will fulfill both visitors and exhibitors expectations. (ambiences? placed under the sign?)
4. the central theme of the fair is ... (the main theme?)5. there will be conferences, debates and roundtables (what is a roundtable?)
I know those are a lot of questions, but I really need your help with this. Thank you so very much!!
Hugs
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22 Jun 2010
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sulekra
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1.We hope that such a prestigious venue in such a
favorable week will contribute in bringing an abundance of
visitors together.
-together could be correct depending on the context, but something along
the lines of here/to this place or event, if they are trying to
attract visitors to a specific location.
2. Again will depend on the context, but associates are a
type of peer, so if it �s a more business-like function then associates
or colleagues will be better.
3. Not sure about this one...
4. Central theme is fine. I imagine a
central theme to be something that connects all the themes together. A
main theme would be the biggest or most important theme, and the other
themes might or might not be connected.
5. I think a roundtable is somewhere people discuss things, like King Arthur and the
round table, all the people are around a round table discussing things
on an equal level, but I �m not 100% sure, maybe someone with more
business experience can be more precise...
good luck with the paper:)
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22 Jun 2010
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kodora
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.........will contribute to the attraction of an abundance of visitors.
I think associates sounds better
ambience means atmosphere or surroundings of a place so it does sound weird.Maybe the three assets of the fair is another expression.
Round-table discussions/meetings/talks.
Hugs
Dora
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22 Jun 2010
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SaraMariam
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Thanks a lot you two for your help :) i really appriciate it a lot. I asked again what was meant by the ambiences and she used a wrong translation. I guess a fair has 3 parts so those parts / areas and how do you call that 3 parts? 3 assets? 3 exhibition areas?
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22 Jun 2010
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kodora
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If you refer to the actual places of the fair then "exhibition areas" sounds good to me
If you refer to the advantages or attractions of the fair then I think "assets" is better.
Good luck
Dora
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22 Jun 2010
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Jayho
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Hi Sara
Here �s my two cents worth:
1. By using contribute the author implies that something else is the main drawcard (probably the event). Without knowing the actual context I think the sentence needs to be reworded.
2. Agree with Sulekra - I think peers is too informal unless preceded by business
3. mmm - I rarely see this word in plural form. Ambience conveys a special kind of mood or feeling so applicability depends on the context e.g. if it is a New Age event then ambience is a good word but if it is taxation (lol) then maybe not
4. Agree with Sulekra
5. In my experience roundtables at events are short brainstorming session where there are many tables, each with a different topic and a leader. Participants sign up for a number of these during a set period (e.g 3 x 20 minute sessions in a 1 hour conference ) where they pool their ideas together. Ideas are collated and presented to the event organsisers who have set the topics to find out needs, gauge opinions etc. You can read more here, here and here
Hope this helps
Cheers
Jayho
Edit: I have just seen the other responses. Perhaps you can tell us the context. What sort of fair is it? |
22 Jun 2010
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SaraMariam
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You guys are really great! What would I do without you?!
I just found another last sentence I have a problem with. i �m really sorry to ask for so much help, but business is not really my area :s so I really depend on you
Placed under the sign of
�knowledge�, this edition (of the fair I guess) will be punctuated with great highlights:
conferences, workshops, animations �
placed under the sign / edition/ punctuated? |
22 Jun 2010
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Dyana13
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Could be "motto"? as in "under the motto of knowledge" - refering to the possible exchange of ideas and experience
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22 Jun 2010
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