Poem

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ESL forum > Ask for help > Poem

Poem

portugueseteacher

Gustavo, you wrote a beautiful poem and you �re certainly a beautiful person!

Just don �t give up!We �re here for you no matter what!

You �re going through delicate moments. Be gentle to yourself and ask for medical advice.

My sister had a depression and the medication was never right , finally she found out a good doctor who gave her ther right prescription and she �s a lot happier.

So, don �t loose hope!

I �m sure you will overcome the downsides of life"Take care"

4 Dec 2010

Gustavo20

it �s not a question of medication or psycotherapy... in four years and a half i have tried all these pills.... i �ve seen six psychiatrists...

Humorap (Citalopram)

Topictal (Topiramato)

Neuryl (Clonazepam)

Serdolect (Sertindol)

Midax (Olanzapina)

Aropax (Paroxetina)

Irazem (Aripiprazol)

Elafax � gavanax (Venlafaxina)

Lapenax (Clozapina)

Litio

Anafranil (Clomipramine)

Lextor (escitalopram)

Lamocas (lamotrigina)

Tryptanol (amitriptilina)

(mirtazapina)

and i �ve done one year and a half of therapy with a psychologist... going to see her every fucking friday... without any results... i �m just tired of all this... it �s never ending

i am constantly tormented by my thoughts... thoughts that you would not be able to imagine in your worst nightmares... i don �t know anymore why people ask me "why do you want to kill yourself?"... the answer is so obvious... no one can resist burning in the flames of hell for long... that is why i say a mental hospital is my last resource...

here �s something i �ve written... (comment: i used to self-harm one year and a half ago)

My mind is my prison. The unbreakable chrysalis that protects me and confines me. My immovable metamorphic cocoon. There is no silence to break here, no story to unfold. The line between personality and illness blurs like the hazy atmosphere that smothers the distant horizon. The sun goes down and loses itself in the cynical dusk. My unquenchable thirst for truth has finally been satisfied, but the answers I found have changed my life for the worse. My brain is slowly decaying. I have already lost my will to live. Now, I�m just the shadow of someone else�s desires. I�m a puppet whose strings are being held extremely tightly.

My neurosis feeds on my guilt. It is my fault entirely. I am the one to blame. I let things get out of control, and now nothing will be able to restore order and innocence in the mayhem I have created. The roots of subjectivity must be mowed before they become aware of their existence. Only pseudo-objective intellectual approaches are allowed to exist and co-exist within the mind of a neurotic.

My face of twain strives to give a hint of a smile. My arabesque-stanced lips try to find the right posture, but they have forgotten how to dance.

I miss the feeling of the blade against my skin, tearing apart the fresh tissue. Scar over scar.

5 Dec 2010

Jayho

Hi Gus

There are many people who feel as you do - many people are inflicted with depression, more than most realise. Be strong and keep exploring treatment options. There are people who can help you live with / overcome this but sometimes it takes time. Do you belong to a support group? Often people get the best help from others who are in the same situation.

Thinking of you during this difficult time.

Cheers

Jayho

5 Dec 2010

lamyaa

hey Gus ,

u have a wonderful gift , it is very nice of u 2 share ur feelings with us , i feel for u and i feel the same way at times ,but dont give up ... am sure there are many who �d gladly help and who �d reach out for u ... i am one :)

5 Dec 2010

Redbull

Hi Gus,

I have been reading your poems and the well wishes from all the members:

First I know how it feels to be where you are right now, why do I know because I too was once feeling this way back in 2003 for almost two years.

Trying all kinds of pills, trying to end my life by smashing up my car at great speed!

Until one day I said to myself why what do I have to do to get this feeling I have to go way

And it come to me I needed to change my job, home, friends, country.................

So I left my own country my job and old friends back in 2005 and haven �t looked back since .

Today I am very content and happy with my life and don �t need any help from anybody or anything.
Their is no better medications, prescriptions, psycotherapy than finding what it is your looking for in life itself, and what I found was moving to third world countrys and helping those that are less fortunate than myself, meaning doing English for charity to poor children that can�t pay for their own educations.

Life for me is wonderfull and bright, I won �t say this is what you need to do or this would help you but think what I have just said

I found my way!

Thinking of you and really do hope you find your way soon.

Love you x

REDBULL GIVES YOU WINGS YOU KNOW

5 Dec 2010

joy2bill

Gus, you are doing the right thing. You are communicating with people! �

You are not alone. I �ve been down your path and so have many, many people. At least nowadays it is something we can talk about not like in the past.

Try to change your way of thinking. Tell yourself it �s ok to have bad thoughts but that is what they must remain..just thoughts.

Look for some small element of joy in everything you do.

Above all keep being part of this community..we are here to listen.

There is life �beyond blue"

Cheers Joy

5 Dec 2010

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