"Don�t come the raw prawn with me!" It�s
uncanny how a 15th century, English, idiomatic expression can travel virtually
unchanged by time, distance and language, from �England�, (as was), to present-day
�Australia�, (as is), altered only in regard to punctuation.
I am
referring, of course, to the English expression: �To bang your head against a
brick wall�, which has existed since 1483, (when �brick walls� were first
invented).
This
expression has precisely the
same words, form, and meaning as �Don �t come the raw prawn with me�. (The few, slight differences are fully
explained in the text-books, �The Population Explosion� by Stanwell Back, and �The
Lazy School-Child� by Tyrone Shoelaces.)
Incidentally,
if you travel by air to Australia in a UK plane, it is only 10,500 miles. However, if you travel in a French plane, it
is much further, about 17, 000 kilometres.
So be warned!
Yes! Since 1483, the English have been: �Banging
their head against a brick wall!� Many
psychological theories have been advanced for this practice, but it is
generally believed that it is because of the pleasure that it brings. It is so
nice when you stop!
Incidentally,
continuing with the underwater theme:
�What
do you call six fish with no eyes?� �Sx
fsh�.
�Have you seen the film, �The
Codfather�, starring Prawn Connery and Kylie Minnow�? �No!
But I�ve heard the songs, �Pirana Happy Face�, and, �You Walrus hurt the One you Love�,
from �Albert Herring�, by Benjamin Britten, from Finland�.
�How
can you tell if two octopuses are in love?�
�They walk arm-in-arm, arm-in-arm, arm-in-arm,
arm-in ... ...�.
I
will end with a true story.
In my
local waterway, the River Tyne, a shark, which was one of a school of sharks, was
observed carrying on its back a squid, which was extremely ill. The squid was obviously suffering from poisoning,
possibly from pesticides. It was a really sick squid!
The
shark returned to its school, which was a �Card School�, devoted to gambling. (A �Language School� uses Flash Cards, but a �Card
School� uses Playing Cards.) The Banker
was a Killer Shark to whom all the other sharks owed money, because he was also
a Loan Shark.
The
Killer Shark called out: �Hi.
You owe me money!�
The
shark pointed to the squid on its back, and in a trembling voice, answered: �OK,
OK. Here�s that six quid I owe you!�
Les
