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Message board > lost in translation...
lost in translation...
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Mariethe House
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lost in translation...
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My boyfriend �s workshop is opening on Saturday and I have written a presentation of his work for the visitors . (You �re welcome by the way!! ) There might be some English people there so I have done a translation in English. Can anyone check it for me please? Thank you.
A few words about the artist and his work.
The first thing one can say about GB is his love for the paper he works on: traditional Japanese paper:"washi" He has with this material a very sensual contact: he folds it , ruffles it , creases it, twists it and , little by little, a pattern, a shape, a silhouette appears which he shapes up, reinforces, underlines with ink: black, preferably but sometimes coloured.
Don �t be puzzled by these lines, prints, circles, spirals that remind the buddhist monk �s zen garden. (Every morning, the monk tirelessly rakes the sand or gravel drawing lines , circles and waves which invite us to meditation.)
In a very similar way, G�rard �s work is some kind of meditation, an invitation to inner peace.... A break.
The artist also aims at aesthetics : light collages, folds,filigree spirals, straight lines, broken lines , secretive superpositions... A whole poetical world.
Gerard was marked by numerous influences. he was born in Morocco where he spent most of his childhood.He also has roots in Cantal , the wild and untouched nature of which he really loves. He has travelled a lot and to Japan in particular where he has lived for short periods of time. The traditions and modernity of that country have greatly influenced him.
2012: GB sets up his "atelier du ruisseau" workshop . He wishes it to be a lively place, an opening on the world , a place where you can talk, exchange ideas and rest , away from the turmoil of the world.
Don �t hesitate to come and visit . You will be very welcome.
The words in blue, I am not very sure of. But there might be others that re not corresctly used. I will be very grateful if
you can help. Thank you.
This is one of his recent works: " voluptuous"
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8 May 2012
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cunliffe
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This sounds fabulous and I wish I could come. The translation makes perfect sense and sets the scene for a wonderful, peaceful experience. Just one or 2 suggestions, since you �ve asked, Marie.
1) Word order �he has a very sensual contact with this material � 2) Move the comma �black preferably, but.. � 3) ...remind the buddhist monk �s.. � What about �invoke � instead of �remind �.? 4) I think the words in blue are fine, but what about �Gerard has been marked � instead of �was �. Or you could have �shaped � or �moulded � instead of �marked �.
Maybe also, instead of �invite us to meditation �- English might prefer the verb to the noun. �invite us to meditate. �
Well, I �ve really enjoyed that!
All the best with the workshop. |
8 May 2012
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ueslteacher
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He has (what comes first) a very sensual contact (then indirect object) with this material..
G. �s style was shaped by numerous influences...
He has travelled a lot, namely to Japan where ...
He has travelled a lot and has lived in Japan for short periods of time...
Japanese tradition and modernity have marked his artistry in a unique way.
You will be warmly welcomed:)
Not a native speaker:) Just giving you some alternatives:) Sophia
Edit: cunlife and I were probably posting simultaneously:) @Lynne: would appreciate if you could cast an eye on my suggestions and give a short comment.
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8 May 2012
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cunliffe
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Hi Sophia, your suggestions were really good. I particularly liked, �namely Japan �. I was just going to suggest a hyphen instead of �and �. �He has travelled a lot - to Japan in particular, where.... � I also like �G �s style was shaped by numerous influences... � English loves a passive, but we could easily say, �Numerous influences have shaped G �s style. �
Et a vous, Marie, je vous remercie pour l �invitation. Un jour, je viendrai.. Line x |
8 May 2012
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ueslteacher
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Oui, Marie, j �allais de dire la meme chose:) Sophie |
8 May 2012
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cunliffe
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Mon Dieu, Sophia, nous both avons broken the anglais-only rule! ( I won �t tell anybody if you don �t!)  |
8 May 2012
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ueslteacher
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@Lynne: thanks for getting back to me. Sophia |
8 May 2012
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yanogator
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It should be a dash, not a hyphen. A dash goes between words, and a hyphen goes inside words (multiple words or a line break).
Bruce |
8 May 2012
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