"TATTERDEMALION"

This is a corruption of the Anglo-Saxon word "Taterdemalion", (�tater de mal ion� = "Bad Potato").

In the North of England, a �tater� is a �potato�.  In various other parts of the UK, potatoes are �taties�, or �tatties�, or in Scotland, �totties�.  (Hence, the Scottish expression, �Ah�ll hit ye in the eye, wi� a lump o� tottie pie�.

�Tatterdemalion� was borrowed from the French phrase, "pomme de terre de mal ion", which means �apple of the earth with negative vibrations�.  With a name like this, you can easily see why the English gave this word back to the French, at the first opportunity.

However, in the year 1067, just one year after William the Conqueror successfully invaded England, two things happened.

1:  The new French King decreed that all his English subjects should show him proper respect.  The English, being the dutiful, law-abiding citizens that they were, welcomed their new master by renaming one room in every house in honour of the new King, �William Conqueror�.  They gave this room his initials, and called it: �The WC�.

2: The organisation for slimmers, Weight-Watchers, opened an office in Pudding Chare, Ham, near Pratts Bottom, London.  (Do you get it?  Office = Chare! No? OK, please yourself!)

Weight-Watchers saw the financial benefits of a TV advertisement campaign which would earn them millions, based on the unhealthiness of eating too many potatoes.

A proud, pretentious, patronising pair of potato parents were perusing prospective persons, preferably patricians, who preferred to pick their pretty potato progeny as a permanent partner.
The Mother said: � I want her to marry a really posh potato.  I think that she wants to marry a common musician, like that Maris Piper, but, I want her to marry the Duke of York�.
�Oh, no!  Better than that --- King Edward!� declared the Father.
Then the Girl spoke: �I love David Dimbleby�.
The Father was outraged: �You are NOT going to marry that Commentator!�