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Message board > Help with correction!
Help with correction!
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beefeater
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Help with correction!
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Hello! Could anyone please help me correcting this text? I �m in a bit of a hurry! THANKS!
A sower leaves home to sow some
seeds. As he sows the seeds, some seeds fall down by a wall. Some people
walk on them and the birds finally eat them.
A sower goes to sow some seeds.
Some seeds fall onto the rocky ground, where there is not much earth, and they bloom because the earth is not deep. But when the sun rises, they are scorched and
dried because they have no roots.
Some seeds
fall among hawthorn. The hawthorn grow
and drawn the seeds.But some seeds fall onto good ground, and bear fruit, some
hundred fruits, some sixty, some thirty.
This parable shows us the importance of sowing the word of the Lord in
good soil. If we do
not pay attention to the moral lessons, we will not understand the word of the Lord.
If the things of the world are more important for us than the kingdom of God, the
word will not bear good fruit
in us.
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21 Mar 2013
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Apodo
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I �d change these words:
Some seeds fall among hawthorn. The hawthorn grows and smothers the seeds. But some seeds fall onto good ground, and bear fruit, some a hundred fruit, some sixty, and some thirty.
If we do not pay attention to moral lessons
The use of hawthorn is confusing - it�s being used as a collective word for the plant.
Some seeds fall among weeds. The weeds grow and smother the seeds.
The plants would be smothered or choked, not drowned. |
21 Mar 2013
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yanogator
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Just one small disagreement with Apodo. i would just say "and bear fruit, some a hundred, some sixty, and some thirty". I think "a hundred fruit" doesn �t quite sound natural, befcause it�s using the uncountable form after a number.
Bruce
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21 Mar 2013
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Terri Lawson
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The original text says " some a hundred fold, some sixty fold and some thirty". I think that means 100 times, 60 times and 30 times. |
21 Mar 2013
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