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ESL forum >
Grammar and Linguistics > Asking for correction
Asking for correction
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MJ_Misa
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Asking for correction
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Hello, dear ESL friends. At this moment I am finishing (another) Master degree and I would like to ask you to check the abstract of my thesis. As a non-native speaker I am sure there will be some mistakes and I want my thesis to be perfect, so please, can you help? This thesis deals with the integration of physically handicapped pupils
into mainstream primary schools in the District of D���n. It examines, whether
these schools have proper conditions for the integration of physically
handicapped pupils, how many handicapped pupils are currently educated at these
schools and the type of their handicap. Finally,
we were interested in the obstacles preventing the integration of physically
handicapped pupils into mainstream schools. Thanks in advance and have a great day everybody. :-) Michaela
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18 Feb 2015
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cunliffe
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Hi Michaela, that is fine. Just one thing - we tend to say �pupils with disabilities � rather than �handicapped pupils �. You could also have written (but yours is fine): �This thesis deals with the integration of pupils with disabilities into mainstream primary schools in the district of D. It examines whether the schools have conditions conducive to the integration of these pupils, how many such pupils are currently being educated at these schools and the nature of their disability. Finally, we were interested in the obstacles to the integration of pupils with disabilities into mainstream schools. � Or variations thereof! Edit: if your study is specifically about kids with physical disabilities, you could insert �physical�.
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18 Feb 2015
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mish.cz
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Hello, dear Mí�a, as far as I remember I �ve always tried to avoid the word "handicapped" in my production as it doesn �t sound very PC to me. I �d use fe. "disabled" instead. But I might be oversensitive and wrong and I �d love to hear some native speaker �s point. BTW good luck with your degree! |
18 Feb 2015
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cunliffe
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mish.cz is right - and �pupils with disabilities � is more acceptable than �disabled pupils � because the emphasis is on the pupil, rather than the fact that he or she has got some kind of disability. |
18 Feb 2015
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MJ_Misa
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Thank you very much, you �re great.
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18 Feb 2015
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Sharwong
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Perhaps the tense of the last statement. You started off with present tense and suddenly shifted to past tense. I would just put everything in present tense. |
18 Feb 2015
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cunliffe
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Good point from Sharwong. In this case, you could put , �Finally, we have a look at (or we examine) the obstacles... |
18 Feb 2015
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MJ_Misa
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Thanks one more time. :-) |
18 Feb 2015
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douglas
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I would also drop the comma before "whether".
As for handicapped vs disabled, I think you are okay with using handicapped (you still see it used�officially all over the world: e.g. "handicapped parking").
Here is one handicapped person �s atke on the terms:
On the other hand there is this from the UK government:
Cheers,
Douglas |
19 Feb 2015
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