I went to my medical man...I went straight up and saw him, and he said:"Well, what �s the matter with you?"

I said: "I will not take up your time, dear boy, with telling you what is the matter with me.  Life is brief, and you might pass away before I had finished.  But I will tell you what is NOT the matter with me.  I have not got housemaid �s knee.  Why I have not got housemaid �s knee, I cannot tell you; but the fact remains that I have not got it.  Everything else, however, I HAVE got."

Then he opened me and looked down me, and clutched hold of my wrist, and then he hit me over the chest when I wasn �t expecting it - a cowardly thing to do, I call it - and immediately afterwards butted me with the side of his head.  After that, he sat down and wrote out a prescription, and folded it up and gave it me, and I put it in my pocket and went out.

I did not open it.  I took it to the nearest chemist �s, and handed it in.  The man read it, and then handed it back. He said he didn �t keep it.

I said: "You are a chemist?"

He said: "I am a chemist.  If I was a co-operative stores and family hotel combined, I might be able to oblige you.  Being only a chemist hampers me."

I read the prescription.  It ran:

 enjoy your weekend my dear friends!!