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Ask for help > Do you mind correcting this short extract ?
Do you mind correcting this short extract ?
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EwelinaEwelina
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Do you mind correcting this short extract ?
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In my opinion, raising children is a really hard challenge and responsibility to do for most of the people these days. I consider that bringing up a child is a new venture for all families because everyone has an impact with every move and word on a child�s future behaviour. The role of the extended family is no less important than the close family’s because a child�s parents can leave the baby to someone from the extended family when they are going abroad. |
29 Oct 2023
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Mandolina
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In my opinion, raising children is a really hard challenge and a huge responsibility for most people these days. I consider that bringing up a child is a new venture for all families because every member of the family has an impact on every move and word in a child�s future behaviour. The role of the extended family is no less important than the close family�s because a child�s parents might leave the baby with someone from the extended family when they go abroad.
Hi Ewelina, There are no mistakes, but I have made a few changes which imho, make it read slightly better. Bear in mind, I have lost friends from over-editing:))) Kind regards, Lynne
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30 Oct 2023
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Mandolina
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I think when they are going abroad is just as good... I know I go on, but I miss Les, Bruce, Almaz and all the others who have helped us so much. Lynne |
30 Oct 2023
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karenandrea
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In my opinion, raising children is a really hard challenge and responsibility to do for most of the people these days. I consider that bringing up a child is a new venture for all families because everyone has an impact with every move and word on a child�s future behaviour.
The role of the extended family is no less important than the close family�s because a child�s parents can leave the baby to someone from the extended family when they are going abroad.
A few comments
you could use the verb undertake instead of do- undertake a challenge
Most people is better than most of the people.
Better to say ....is no less improtant than that of the close family�s
leave the baby with not to someone
I would use the present simple tense ... when they go abroad rather than when they are going abroad which implies it is happening at the moment.
I hope that is helpful for you.
Karen |
1 Nov 2023
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viccxx
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Formal:
In my
opinion,for the majority of people nowadays, raising children is quite
challenging and a huge responsibility to undertake. I consider the upbringing
of a child as a new venture for all families, since every member has a
significant impact on the child�s future behaviour, influencing it with their
every word and move.
The role of the extended family is no less important
than that of the close family, as they can be entrusted with the child�s
upbringing in extenuating circumstances, such as the parents going abroad and
having to entrust their child to relatives.
Informal:
In my opinion,
it is a really hard challenge and a big responsibilty for families nowadays to
raise a child. I believe that bringing up a child is a new venture for
families, as every member can have an impact on the child�s future behaviour,
with every word they say and every move they make.
The role of the extended family is equally important a
sthat of the close family, as they the child�s parents can leave their child
with someone they trust if the need arises; for example, if they need to go abroad.
Hope this helps. |
2 Nov 2023
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