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Message board > CUITURAL MISJUDGENENT , LACK OF RESPECT AND MOCKEREY
CUITURAL MISJUDGENENT , LACK OF RESPECT AND MOCKEREY
sruggy
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CUITURAL MISJUDGENENT , LACK OF RESPECT AND MOCKEREY
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DEAR MEMBERS,
First, I am awfully sorry for using the photos of some of the members here, without permission, in one of my worksheets.
When I uploaded a sample of my speaking cards worksheet on eslprintables members, I was full of hope that I would be widely acclaimed by the other members. As Victor Gayol said, I had good intentions. In fact, my aim was to help members of this community communicate better. I even checked my e-mail to see if anyone sent me his/her fact file so that I would go on working on the other worksheets .Unfortunately, some of the reactions were full of cultural misjudgements, lack of respect and pure mockery. They made me reconsider my opinion about some members whom I�ve admired so much for their contributions so far.
What I don�t understand is how one can be a defenders of morality and good manners when he/she gives himself / herself the right to mock another person or treat him as a picture freak/ eccentric / weird/unusual person. To teach manners, one has to do so through actions not words. I am wondering where these people�s manners were when they treated me as a freak.
What�s worse, mamagalef started by making insinuations "Do you collect pictures, Hicham? This is really freaky..." She went on chatting with her dearest Frenchfrog : "Miriam, your former picture was probably saved as well..." Then, Frenchfrog suddenly became so thoughtful about the other members of the community who used Avatars instead of their photos: " I don�t know if they were also scared to see their pictures being used ..."
Don�t worry! There is nothing to be scared about as your pictures were published on the site and anybody could have used them illicitly before I did so. So please don�t exaggerate. The truth is that I always kept a record of the Comment Pages because they helped me have a clear idea about the members who downloaded my worksheets when I leave the cybercaf� and go home.
Remember! your own code of values isn�t the only and the one to be referred to when talking about manners and matters of respect .Culture is the window through which we see the world. As a Muslim, I never dare to have eye contact with another woman with the exception of my wife, let alone to be a women�s picture freak.
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18 Oct 2008
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mmargalef
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Hi Hicham
I wasn�t mocking you when I asked the question. It wasn�t even an insinuation. I was just asking. Is it usual to save pictures in your computer, even when they were deleted long time before you prepared the worksheet? In my opinion it�s quite weird. I�m not the good manners and code of values goddess, I�m human but I don�t think I was mocking you. I don�t know if you read the whole comment... you just highlight the last sentence. Sorry if I offended you. By the way I�m not scared about my picture appearing in a worksheet... because I think it won�t be the case but I want people to ask me first. I understand people getting annoyed, or upset after seeing their faces on a worksheet without having been asked.
And please I don�t want to enter a culture war. The comment wasn�t about it. I love Muslim culture and its countries (remember Spain has its roots in this culture) and we have more in common than you may think. I respect every member of this site.
By the way, my name is Miriam
Let�s cool things down.
Enjoy the weekend
This is the comment I wrote:
I promised myself I wouldn�t start or take part in any controversial topic in the forum but after seeing the worksheet I took a couple of days to think about all the controversy around this matter. As Frenchfrog said I changed my picture and yes, there is a link. I�m not a star, not a famous person. I uploaded my pic because I thought and I still think it�s nice to see your friends� faces and let them see yours (though you must know I�m very shy and never use my image, not even with my messenger account) How naive! I thought and still think that we are a big family but I could have never imagined that our faces would appear with private and false information in a worksheet. I was lucky: my face was not there and maybe it would never appear in the �hall of star teachers� worksheet but I won�t take the risk. I understand Frenchfrog. I know there are people who don�t mind it but others do and that�s why we should ask for permission. I know that when you publish your pic you cannot complain but it�s a matter of respect and manners. Frenchfrog said a lot of times that she doesn�t want to upload her pic, whatever resons she has. It�s her decision and we must repect it. Another point I don�t undertand: do you collect pictures? This is really freaky...
Hope you enjoy my �pa amb tomaquet�, a typical Catalan dish: bread, tomato and ham
A big hug and my respect and admiration to Frenchfrog and those great members who make this site a wonderful world
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18 Oct 2008
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wakebeauty
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Dear Sruggy,
I can imagine how u are feeling after being called directly or indirectly of weird, weirdo, freak, eccentric, etc! speacially because you were expecting another reaction... but life is like that, sometimes we learn in the hardest way! Words can hurt us more than anything on earth... But time will pass by and your wound will be healed, the only problem is that sometimes a scar is left : (
Now to my dear colleagues that felt really sad for seeing their pics being used without their permission,
you were right when you felt sad, angry even surprised for seeing your pics being used, but be careful how you react, and even more with the words you use, �coz they hurt... a lot!!!!!
We all know that he had a good intention, he only did it in the wrong way... And don�t be so afraid of seeing ur pics being used, once u put it on the net, you are allowing anyone to save it and do whatever ones deserves, EVEN VODOO - JUST KIDDING hehehehe) so be prepared to fight in the right way, with the right words and with the right people!!!!!!
hope you understand me... A little kiss for everyone in this great site (*.*)
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19 Oct 2008
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Nebal
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hi everybody there,
I actually read your comments carefully. I was really impressed the way things took different dimensions.
Hisham, I do really believe that you had good intentions , but anyone could have doubted it. We are humans, we doubt and believe others when it comes to privacy and rights. Don�t be upset with what you read, and please let�s leave our religious backgrounds aside. We are here one family working for the same sacred message ( teaching). Teach yourselves to accept each other�s differences . Hicham, we all respect you, including Miriam-she is a great friend. So, let�s forget about the past and go on ,please. I feel upset when such disagreements occur.
My whole respect to this dear community that showed many a times worthy of our respect, for its great creations and gifts.
Special thanks to the father of this family, Victor. You�re more than great. You made the impossible possible. Thanksssssssssss!!!!!!
Best Regards,
Nebal |
19 Oct 2008
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Mietz
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Hello Sruggy, hello everybody else,
Firstly - I think that both sides should calm down now. Enough harm�s been done either way.
Secondly - I think the whole thing shows that we all have a big responsibility for how we handle the information that can be gained about us here. Be aware of what you publish about yourselves and others and be aware of how you use information, even if your intention means no harm, it�s about the other side(s), too. I don�t think that has to do with cultural differences.
Have a nice rest of the weekend!
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19 Oct 2008
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Tere-arg
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Hi,
It happens here as it does outside the internet: we are becoming impatient, irritable and less tolerant as time goes by. Of course, I am including myself! Those who were here when I arrived may remember I had a wrong reaction, too.
Modern life and all that it offers has a price and we are paying for it.
Personally, I try to slow down a bit and always re-read my comment before sending it as in the heat of the matter, the chosen words may not be the most suitable.
I think it would be VERY important to be able to get in private touch with the others to treat this kind of things privately first and so avoid so much problem. Showing the e-mail address could be an option and a very useful one.
My respect to both members.
Have a nice time.
Enjoy every moment as if it were unique!
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19 Oct 2008
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egtamo
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hi everyone,
I believe that the photo topic is blown out of proportion. It is not acceptable to use someone�s photo without his/her permission. However, once someone puts his/her photo in their profile, he/she has no control over it. I mean everyone can copy it store it or even send it to someone else claiming that it is his/her own photo. So if someone worries a lot his/her photo being used in a wrong way, please don�t put it in your profile.
What hurt Hisham most, as I understand, is people talking to each other behind his back about how awful that thing was. I would be angry myself if I make a mistake and find out that people are talking about me and criticizing what I did instead of talking to me directly and helping me fix my mistake.
I suggest that "Let bygones be bygones" is the best remedy for this problem. Thanks for everyone for letting me share me thoughts with you"
Ciao |
19 Oct 2008
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Victoria-Ladybug
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Hi everyone!
Thanks to this AMAZING site I �ve met wonderful people,great teachers and I am amazed by the way they are working every day.I made many friends, laughed, smiled,shared my own ideas and worksheets . All this situation has touched me deeply...
I just wanted you to say,that the both sides,we all should calm down and keep up doing our great job we do. This poem is for YOU!
Friendship . . .
. . . is you. . . . is love. . . . is shared. . . . is forgiving. . . . is understanding. . . . is shared secrets. . . . heals many hurts. . . . is not judgmental. . . . is shared laughter. . . . is slow and steady. . . . can be angry at times. . . . is dependable and true. . . . is more precious than silver or gold. . . . is meant to be savored like fine wine. . . . is not PERFECT, much like we are not PERFECT. . . . does not hold grudges or demand perfection. . . . makes all the wrong things in life, right somehow. . . . is meant to be gulped like lemonade on a hot summer day. . . . is always there, through times of trial, happy times and hard times. . . . just happens, but once discovered, needs to be tended like a beautiful garden. . . . is a road to be traveled slowly, remembering the sights and sounds. . . . is strength when you are too weak to notice its there. . . . is a cherished moment of mutual understanding. . . . reaches into your heart and grabs a firm hold. . . . is a refreshing rain on a hot day. . . . is sunshine through the clouds. . . . cannot be forced or induced. . . . is relaxed and comfortable. . . . is a shoulder to lean on. . . . is an ear to whine to. . . . gets better with age. . . . is shared tears. . . . is shared pain. . . . is shared joy. . . . is shared. . . . is love. . . . is you.
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19 Oct 2008
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frenchfrog
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I will try to be very concise (I am sick with all of this):
1) Thanks Hicham for saying you are sorry.
2) Obviously you were expecting from some members that they send their �files�. Well, I never sent mine, so I think you could have deduced that I would refuse to be part of your project (unknown to all of us at that time).
3) Victor is not the only one who said you had good intentions. In all my messages (check them again!!), I wrote that I was 100% sure that you did not mean any harm, that your intentions were good, your idea noble... Please, reread the messages and you will see that many members wrote the same thing.
4) I never accused YOU of being weird but I used the word "weird" to describe a particular behaviour (i.e saving pictures on a computer; the picture of me you used stayed only 2 days), for which you gave an explanation. Note: Miriam wrote �This is freaky�, �this� refers to �something� not �someone� or �you�...
5) I knew I was running a risk when I uploaded my picture. I was aware of the possibility of its being used. I think my mistake was to believe there was a tacit understanding (i.e. not use a picture of a member without asking for his/her permission). Hicham, you wrote "anybody could have used them illicitly before I did so", but the thing is you are the only one (so far) who "did so"...
6) Please, leave (and I am talking to all members here) the religious dimension aside, it had absolutely nothing to do with what happened. (Thanks Mietz!!)
7) We had a right to ask ourselves questions. The situation was so bizarre. There were no insinuations, just questions. But I can understand that you interpreted them as insinuations. For this, I am sorry!
8) To Egtamo: HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE US OF SOMETHING WE DID NOT DO!!!! WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT HICHAM BEHIND HIS BACK. WE DID NOT SEND EACH OTHER PERSONAL E-MAILS (for two good reasons: I don�t have the other members� addresses and it would not have been fair). ALL THE DEBATE / CONVERSATIONS / MESSAGES TOOK PLACE ON ESLPRINTABLES. Everybody was able to read our messages. But I sent a very short e-mail to Victor asking him to have a look at Hicham�s worksheet.
9) To Egmato again: You wrote �I would be angry myself if I make a mistake and find out that people are talking about me and criticizing what I did instead of talking to me directly and helping me fix my mistake�. I DID SEND a comment to Hicham on the day his worksheet was published. I wrote that his idea was great (or noble, I don�t remember exactly), then I told him I felt embarrassed and that I would have preferred he had asked if he could use my picture. Hicham did not remove the printable right away (but maybe he could not because he was busy, I can understand that)... He did not leave a comment in my post either ... He could also have changed the part about me if he did not want to lose his points .... I don�t know exactly who removed the printable in the end (Hicham himself, or Victor?).
Frenchfrog |
19 Oct 2008
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