Just last night, i was at my 8th graders prom (and had a BLAST!) and at one point, after the ss had addressed the teachers and congratulated one another, a gym teacher (about 35 years my senior) who is to be retired this week came up to me and said:
"Ivona, i hope you have no hard feelings towards me because of the things i said at the meeting the other day. I wouldn �t want to retire and be remembered by you in a negative way."
And i said: "Whaaa?
Just because we had different opinions over the matter and had a really heated discussion does not mean i hate you, or that i will hold it against you for the rest of my life and that i will try to get back at you. We �re still friends. "
"Then, if that �s the case, it makes me really happy."
What had happened was this. The practice here is that teachers give higher marks to 8th grade students because of the points they will need for the secondary school. The 8th graders
know that, so from the very beginning of the school year, they feel as if they didn �t have to study at all because they would be gratified good marks at the end of the year, this way or another. Of course, they �re smart and go the easier way. But i don �t let it be the case with me. My 8th graders, but all the others as well, know that they must
earn good marks, that i keep my word and that i don �t have double standards. The profession of their parents, or their social status, do not mean anything to me. It �s the students only.
My aim with them is not to create brilliant speakers of English, that �s impossible, but to make them responsible.My fellow colleagues, on the other hand, do not go out of their way to do what i �m doing, but they too go the easier way. If a student did not deserve a �pass � mark, they �d still give it to him because they would have to hold remedial lessons after classes and miss their bus and be home half an hour later! Also, they need favours from the students � parents. Also, the school looks better in the ministry of education �s eyes if the students � average marks are high. And so on ...
So, last Friday, they insisted that i gave one mark up to one of the ss who had been idle throughout the whole year but whose father had helped a lot with the school electricity, so for the sake of him and the school i was supposed to go back on my word and principles to satisfy the system. And i didn �t want to because of me and because of the ss who have great respect for me for sticking to my principles. Anyway, I stated my opinion and supported it with arguments. They stated theirs and supported it with arguments having to do with me being �big headed �, �bratty �, �still green and already brazen �, �who are you to tell us how to do our job �, �who do you think you are? the principal? the school psychologist? � etc. Then they used different excuses like bad parents, bad conditions in the school, bad children, bad country, bad policy, bad this and that.
But the thing that irritated me most and that they kept repeating was this:
"What makes you think that you can change the system? You �re alone in it."To that i told them:
"What makes you think that i can �t? At least I want to give it a try. I succeeded in having ALL the 8th graders come to the final paper
prepared and you let them copy in yours. Btw, you keep saying i �m right in everything i say, yet keep supporting the system. Why don �t you change sides and come to mine?"
And gz they said: "What makes you think that 15 of us can make a change?"
Now, to cut the long story short, i tried to find a middle way and said, "Ok, i disagree with giving him a bigger mark, but you as a teachers � committee can vote and i can then go before the students with a clean conscience. If i corrected his mark, i would have to bring all the other marks by one up. And that �s impossible." But i had a horrible day afterwards feeling defeated, knocked down, and the worst feeling of all, disappointed with myself because i wasn �t strong enough to resist giving in.
Oh, oh, and one more thing. I was one against all of them, actually
3 of them spoke (one of them the gym teacher) but the others ... oooh,
the others kept silent. Wisely silent. They didn �t want to step on anyone �s toe, keeping their opinions to themselves. Now, THEY are the ones who really got to me. With the three there was a clash of opinions, but at least we said to each other what we thought. The silent ones (and i knew it would happen) approached me in the next few days tete-a-tete to tell me "well said. couldn �t agree more. just as well you told them. when ..." and i would rudely interrupt and say "you were at the meeting. if you had had anything to say, you should have done it there. i really do not want to hear about it" and i would change the subject.
Ahem, now the moral of the �abdelhadi-long � story (lol, it might become a term that will enter a thesaurus or sth! no offence abdelhadi, it �s my imagination running wild again!! i have
no-thing against
you)
They made me stoop, i stood up. And they will do it again, but i will rise and shine and not have them have the last laugh. To quote my fave Lars von Trier (film director)
They say it �s the last song, but they don �t know ME, you see
it �s only the last song if I let it be. 
I love you all guys!
